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asimaiyatTitle: "Completing the Look"/"A Friend You Haven't Met Yet"/"Get Me out of this Hellhole You Filthy Humans"
Fandom: Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Pairing: Billy/Penny
Rating: PG. Contains the words "crap" and "balls." (oops.)
Summary: Billy wants a cool new sidekick/accessory, but you can't always get what you want.
AN: Written for a prompt byhelsmeta on comment_fic.
Every evil genius has a pet cat.
Of course, Billy had to mention to Penny that he was thinking about getting one (stupid, stupid, STUPID!), and of course she'd gone all smiley and shiny in that way that made her eyes turn into irresistible tractor beams, and told him that she wanted to go to the animal shelter with him. He'd been thinking about just buying one off Craigslist, but really, she was asking him on a date. What was he going to say?
As it turned out, the local no-kill shelter (whose mission and ideals Penny explained to him in exhaustive detail) had a selection of cats that any villain would kill for -- if, of course, he wasn't busy killing for some other reason. There was an imperious-looking white Persian and a slinky black shorthair with piercing amber eyes, and there were some calico kittens that were just completely adorable. Billy was pondering his options (and playing with kittens, which is of course an important part of evaluating their potential for evil) when Penny came running up to him, cradling in her arms a... well, it was definitely a mammal. It had hair. At least, on some of its body...
If it was a cat, this thing was the sorriest specimen of a cat that Billy had ever seen. It was sort of grey and brown mottled, with a few bald patches scattered across its perfectly round belly. It only had one eye, which was green and angry-looking, an effect that was exaggerated by thick whiskers that resembled the eyebrows and mustache of an exceptionally grumpy, ill-groomed old man. One fang stuck out over its lower lip, but the other one didn't. Maybe it was missing. Would that even make a difference at this point? When Penny held it up to Billy, it hissed in a half-assed way that clearly said back in my day I would have ripped you to shreds, but thanks to the ravages of age, I'll have to settle for crapping all over your furniture. Just you wait... It was a terrible cat. Really, just terrible.
"His name is Lovey!" cooed Penny, scritching the cat under the chin while somehow holding up its apparently considerable weight with one arm. Unsurprisingly, when she petted it, it half-closed its eye and purred in a way that made it seem almost likable. "They rescued him from the kill shelter because he was almost out of time, and he's been here for weeks now. We have to adopt him. How could you say no to this face?"
Penny was especially beautiful when she was being certifiably insane.
"Come on, Billy. If you adopt him I promise I'll help with everything. I'll show you how to give him his medicine I'll help you buy a litter box and cat toys and everything, and if you ever need to go out of town I'll babysit him for you. I think the three of us are going to be a great team, what do you say?"
Lovey curled his upper lip and growled.
Oh, balls.
Fandom: Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Pairing: Billy/Penny
Rating: PG. Contains the words "crap" and "balls." (oops.)
Summary: Billy wants a cool new sidekick/accessory, but you can't always get what you want.
AN: Written for a prompt by
helsmeta on comment_fic. Every evil genius has a pet cat.
Of course, Billy had to mention to Penny that he was thinking about getting one (stupid, stupid, STUPID!), and of course she'd gone all smiley and shiny in that way that made her eyes turn into irresistible tractor beams, and told him that she wanted to go to the animal shelter with him. He'd been thinking about just buying one off Craigslist, but really, she was asking him on a date. What was he going to say?
As it turned out, the local no-kill shelter (whose mission and ideals Penny explained to him in exhaustive detail) had a selection of cats that any villain would kill for -- if, of course, he wasn't busy killing for some other reason. There was an imperious-looking white Persian and a slinky black shorthair with piercing amber eyes, and there were some calico kittens that were just completely adorable. Billy was pondering his options (and playing with kittens, which is of course an important part of evaluating their potential for evil) when Penny came running up to him, cradling in her arms a... well, it was definitely a mammal. It had hair. At least, on some of its body...
If it was a cat, this thing was the sorriest specimen of a cat that Billy had ever seen. It was sort of grey and brown mottled, with a few bald patches scattered across its perfectly round belly. It only had one eye, which was green and angry-looking, an effect that was exaggerated by thick whiskers that resembled the eyebrows and mustache of an exceptionally grumpy, ill-groomed old man. One fang stuck out over its lower lip, but the other one didn't. Maybe it was missing. Would that even make a difference at this point? When Penny held it up to Billy, it hissed in a half-assed way that clearly said back in my day I would have ripped you to shreds, but thanks to the ravages of age, I'll have to settle for crapping all over your furniture. Just you wait... It was a terrible cat. Really, just terrible.
"His name is Lovey!" cooed Penny, scritching the cat under the chin while somehow holding up its apparently considerable weight with one arm. Unsurprisingly, when she petted it, it half-closed its eye and purred in a way that made it seem almost likable. "They rescued him from the kill shelter because he was almost out of time, and he's been here for weeks now. We have to adopt him. How could you say no to this face?"
Penny was especially beautiful when she was being certifiably insane.
"Come on, Billy. If you adopt him I promise I'll help with everything. I'll show you how to give him his medicine I'll help you buy a litter box and cat toys and everything, and if you ever need to go out of town I'll babysit him for you. I think the three of us are going to be a great team, what do you say?"
Lovey curled his upper lip and growled.
Oh, balls.